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David Waters is a couples counsellor and faculty member of The School of Life, where he teaches classes including 'How to Communicate Better in Love’ Be able to reveal vulnerability, even if it feels daunting.
When we start a relationship we like to feel in control, powerful even – to protect ourselves from the vulnerability that comes with opening up to a lover.
One of the more ridiculous myths about “true love” is the idea of the soulmate – that there is someone out there who is your perfect match.
But if you can exercise forgiveness in small ways at the start of a love affair then you’re more likely to find ways to forgive the bigger hurts and transgressions, if and when they happen. There are good rows and bad rows but make no mistake – everybody argues.Ask, “Wait a minute, am I doing this because I think my partner is up to no good?” If so, have it out with him or her – you don’t need evidence, you need a conversation. The internet is a great place for expressing wishful thinking – but it’s important your partner is able to talk to you about those feelings.A good laugh is like good sex: spontaneous and uninhibited and an act that unites two beings as one.It’s worth going out of your way to have a good laugh, especially if things have been rocky.
This means that instead of navel-gazing and pondering, you’re coming at the difficult things in life with humour and a lightness of touch.